Thoughts on Modern Engagement, Accountability, and Empathy
Unfiltered thoughts about what I've been noticing in the world right now, one Jollibee meal at a time.
Hi awesome souls,
It’s been quite a while of ride before I started thinking of writing this. I even thought about how do I find the energy to write on my Substack, while still managing my blog *slash* portfolio? Some of my friends even wonder how I get to juggle work since I have a corporate job, and still have some freelance work on the side. But, I guess writing has become one of the biggest parts of my life, and I express myself best with words. (Though, not verbally most of the time)
So, this one is stemmed from my deepest unfiltered thoughts because I sometimes feel like I’m in the Sims world observing everyone and everything around me.
So, what’s up?
We’re officially engaged!
I got three new tattoos this year, and I look forward to having two more soon! ✒️
I got a septum piercing, one which I’ve been aspiring to have for so long. (Yes, finally, I did it!)
Dakila is healing well from his nail injury. He’s getting smarter and smarter as the days go by, all thanks to his innate curiosity.
I gifted J new sheets and pillowcases. 🥳
Okay, so going back.
My unfiltered thoughts about tattoos, piercing, and modern engagement 💍
![A tattoo design with Pisces and Taurus elements.](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fc0b2aacb-7171-4ecf-9213-050334d884fc_3000x4000.jpeg)
![A tattoo design with Pisces and Taurus elements.](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fee2e12a8-b596-4573-a427-256df9378b01_3000x4000.jpeg)
It’s 2023, and I wonder how most of us think about getting engaged and getting married. I have friends who celebrated their love in so many creative ways. Throughout the years of witnessing so many ceremonies, that inspired me to change the stigma around tattoos.
Ever since I got my first tattoo, I considered it to be a nice way to express your commitment to someone, since it’s going to last a lifetime on yourself. I know there is still a stigma about tattoos in general, and I hope people won’t judge others immediately, especially if they have many tattoos.
Some even wonder why I got many tattoos, I could only think of one reason. A dear friend of mine told me that her father wanted her to get a tattoo whenever she thought of harming herself. This friend shall not be named, but when she told me about that, it hit me hard.
There are times that I was plagued of hurting myself, well, because of the painful things I experienced and survived. The thoughts were persistent, and I’m grateful that Dakila has always been there all throughout.
Anyway, getting tattoos was my way of beating those demons out, and also signifying an achievement that I overcome those. All of my tattoos are meaningful and symbolize different chapters of my life.
Okay, fast-forward to now.
Yesterday, we got tattooed at our favorite tattoo shop, Needle Juice. It was a life-changing because it was to commemorate our engagement. I’ve always told him, when we got together, that I don’t want jewelry for engagement because I'm afraid of losing it.
This is connected to my younger years. Back in grade school, mom gifted me some pieces of jewelry and even a watch that she wanted me to use. However, as a hyperactive kid (I wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until in my late 20s), I misplaced some of those pieces of jewelry and lost some. That was imprinted in my mind, and I would rather not disappoint people because of losing jewelry.
So, it’s both a practical choice and something that’s historic to have engagement tattoos than a ring. ✨
If you’re looking for modern engagement ideas, this might help you:
My septum piercing 🥸
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F7dc3a119-c5ab-488b-b239-f85a641f804a_7296x5472.jpeg)
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_720,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fce088efe-9314-4c4a-9ab4-0af942d23866_7296x5472.jpeg)
As a Taurus, this has been one of my aspirations to have a constant element of my Sun and Moon signs with me. It reminds me that I’m enough, and that I’m capable of doing things even though my methods don’t really conform with what we have been taught.
I’ve been always aspiring and dreaming of this piercing for a while now. Years, I think?
I got this piercing (and my ankle tattoos) on the day that I filed for a leave to process my BIR (tax) and Phil Health (the incompetent Philippine Health insurance). J said that this was impulsive, but I told him that it was years in the making.
One of the most common questions people ask me is that if it was painful. Well, of course it was! I got teary-eyed at the moment when the needle was being pushed. I even made a home version of a saline solution to help me clean and comfort my piercing.
If I could compare the pain, it was like threading an eyebrow. And yes, I can’t compare the pain to a Brazilian wax because it doesn’t hurt more than threading an eyebrow.
After a week, I was able to change my septum earring and feel better. It helped me feel good about myself, made me more comfortable with my skin, and with my overall self.
Okay, so what about empathy and accountability? 👀
It’s been a while since J and I started having breakfast at Jollibee. Since I work at night, my shift ends at 4 AM. So, it’s just in time for their breakfast dishes to be served.
It’s indeed a great way to bond with your partner, to have meals together, talk about mundane things. Yet, these precious moments that could be dear to us can simply get disrupted by extrinsic factors. One of those includes noise from other customers.
So, dining in at 4 AM or 5 AM of the day made us notice these things:
Kids (like college kids or whatever, as long as they’re younger) would populate the place in their party clothes, gallivanting the place as if they own it.
What I abhor about it is that, they don’t seem empathetic about the other people present there. They would leave their trash, messed up! Even if there’s a bussing station, they treat the fast food place as if it’s a fining dining restaurant.
Some of them would even converse in a really loud voice as if they’re just the people who are there.
There was also this one kid who ordered a burger steak to dine, complained that his order was late, and that the people who ordered take out got their orders first. I understand the frustration, but what I didn’t understand was, did he really need to curse while actually getting his food? If he were that hungry, why would he go to a full place?
Some would treat the fast food place as a place to make out. I can’t believe that we’ve seen more than three couples do that. I even saw a person nibble his girlfriend’s ear.
The majority of people who dine in stare at us whenever we buss the utensils, plates, and cups that we used. Like, that’s one of the biggest things that anyone can do for the staff.
Aside from having a low staff count because foot traffic is low during those times, it is still a great help to them if we don’t add tasks for them to do.
It’s such a dismay that some of us forget how it is to be at the receiving end of this. I know that some of the staff hired in fast food places are assigned to keeping the place clean. But, shouldn’t we think about helping them as well?
I know some friends who are working in the food and service industry, and I really applaud them for their patience. They’re able to tolerate this kind of disservice.
That’s why, in my family, I always remind them that we should help the staff in our little ways. We can tidy up the table a little, so it’ll be easier for them to pick up.
We can also understand the reasons why food would be served late, or what not. There’s no need to curse when the staff members are around, that’s unnecessary. If you’re starving and don’t have the patience to wait, just go to another place where there’s less foot traffic, so you’ll get your orders right away.
Anyway, I just hope we can practice becoming more empathetic and accountable with the things that we do. Whatever actions we have, there’s always to be an effect or consequence, no matter how small they may be. Besides, we don’t live in a perfect world, but we can always improve it.
Things I’m grateful for the past days or weeks:
The two courses that I applied for scholarship on Coursera got approved! I can finally finish the Google Digital Marketing Professional Certification very soon. 🧠
I got myself a cheap 60% keyboard, which I’ll be modding soon. I will also mod my other two keyboards, once my materials arrive.
It’s supposed to be a long weekend here, but it doesn’t feel like it. It’s gloomy, and the thought of relatives that may be in harm’s way lingers.
One of my articles on PC Guide was liked by the Writesonic team. 🥳
My colleagues at my corporate work are nice and kind people.
I can get refills for my candles from One Wiccan PH. I simply am in love with their candles. Likewise, I’ve heard that their oils are potent, too. So, if you like oils, you might want to check their shop. 🛍️
I’m still studying Canva, and built some templates with my brand colors.
Anyway, I guess that’s it.
Don’t forget to answer the poll below. 😁
See you in the next letter! ✨
Love and light,
Maria 🧿