Leaving a Toxic Place on a Jet Plane ✈️
Prioritizing Your Mental Health and Career Growth: The Importance of Stepping Away from a Toxic Work Environment
It’s not been long since I last wrote. Sometimes, words come to my mind about different things. It’s been a while since I started contemplating on leaving my current corporate job, since it hasn’t been doing my health good.
As someone with mental health conditions, I was initially diagnosed with ADHD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and Persistent Depressive Disorder.
Lately, my psych mentioned Major Depressive Disorder in the med cert that I submitted for work. I was shocked, since it’s the first time my psych diagnosed me with that. She changed GAD to MDD.
It got me thinking, what could have changed in my diagnosis?
Then, I started experiencing:
Chest pain
Headaches
Loss of sleep (I’m still on Quetiapine. I went from 100 mg to 50 mg. Yay!)
Disinterest in work
Prolonged sleep
The list goes on.
Then it hit me. Perhaps, my corporate job isn’t stimulating me anymore. That I needed to leave, since there are physical symptoms manifesting already. So last week, I sent my resignation. Even my fiancé advised me the same because he noticed that my chest pains are getting more frequent. I even thought that I might have Narcissistic Personality Disorder at one point.
Although I had my worries about not earning as much, but I was reminded to choose myself and my health before anything else. If I’m not 100% okay, then I won’t be able to do my job and be productive, no matter how I try to manage with my routines and habits.
Watching The Zone: Survival Mission, I felt that I was already in survival mode. Seeing Lee Kwang-soo, Yoo Jae-suk, and Yuri go through several simulations like war zone, zombie apocalypse, and even a horror villa. It made me realize that even if you have a clear goal in mind, there are times that you must admit defeat. And it’s not necessarily a weakness. Some people could go on missions but go home traumatized or even totally burnt out.
Frankly, I don’t want to lose years of my life because I endured things. It won’t give me or you a badge of honor. Choosing to move forward will.
What was the ultimate sign that it was time to leave?
The company didn’t consider that I may be exempted from RTO (return to office) despite submitting my medical certificate and PWD ID. They insisted that I should try working in the office.
I think they’re creating an illusion that the office is a conducive place to work for everyone. But, the office can be a source of distraction for someone like me.
Note that I live around 13-15 km from the office.
There’s no travel allowance nor food allowance if we work there.
There are no shuttles that could service us from a pick-up point.
Plus, I don’t think they genuinely understand how it is to have mental health issues. The in-house clinic hasn’t been that active in sending out emails or newsletters to the employees about taking care of their wellness.
They used to send out email blasts about MindNation, but that didn’t end well.
Other signs that you might be in a toxic workplace:
You might always feel tired and burnt out. It’s possibly because of the long hours or immense workload.
All you think about is work. Your brain is preoccupied with the things that you need to do.
The company doesn’t support your growth, be it personal or career.
The management doesn’t listen to the team. Decisions are made without consulting the rest of the company.
Leaders do not give a reassurance to the team, especially if there are changes.
You have a hard time relaxing. Your muscles and joints may feel tensed.
You toss and turn at night, finding it hard to sleep.
Micromanagement
Nonconstructive criticism or team leaders are not providing feedback to help you improve your work.
Incompetent salary package and benefits
How to deal or manage a toxic workplace?
Remember that it’s not your fault. There are things that are out of our hands.
Create strong boundaries for yourself. It may be challenging to say no, but you can always start somewhere.
Stand by your principles. If you notice that there are things happening in the workplace that go against your principles, take that as a sign that you may need to leave.
Find support in your friends, family, or trusted colleagues. If you hear others who share the same sentiments, tread carefully. Ensure that these are trustworthy people and they won’t stab you from behind.
Plan your resignation. Remember, it’s not the end. You will always thrive anywhere you go.
If you’re unsure if you should resign because of responsibilities, here are some questions that I asked myself that may help you:
Will leaving the company give you peace of mind?
Do you still sleep peacefully at night?
Do they respect your time off?
Anyway, like my previous newsletter, always choose yourself. ✨
You are allowed to outgrow the life you thought you wanted. You are under no obligation to stay in places you no longer want to be, even if those places exist only in your mind and heart. Allow yourself to move on, to evolve, to to change. You're allowed to become who you actually are.