Hey there beautiful soul,
Just imagine Joey Tribbiani telling you that line. I still get all flustered whenever I see a clip of him doing that.
Fun fact: FRIENDS is one of my most favorite shows ever!
Anyway, it’s almost April, and we all know what that means. Taurus season is coming in soon and fast!
Tauruses, both April and May, are known to be hustlers. We like to spoil the people we love, but more importantly, we like to spoil ourselves too in so many ways. For one, I’m now spoiling myself even more by setting a pamper day almost every week. I get a massage sporadically because the signs of aging are getting more visible — I kid. But you know, the back pain is almost anywhere.
Aside from that, I got myself a self-care package from a wellness center close to our flat. Not only it’s budget-friendly, but the place is quiet, and the people there are nice.
This year, I’m celebrating my 30th solar return which means, my 29th is coming to an end. I’m closer to having my age out of the calendar already. At times, it haunts me because I feel like I’m on autopilot in life. I’m grateful for the people I met, and that made me realize that I’m more than what I think of myself.
There are still those times that I doubt myself of what I can do, what I know, or what I accomplished. But when I look back at my younger self, I do give myself a virtual pat on the back for all the challenges that I went through. It took me a lot but, it’s growth.
Now, going back.
How did I grieve?
A close friend of mine asked me this question, and it made me wonder how I overcome the pain, sadness, and the trauma. I just know that I cried a lot. I got inked more than a couple of times since January 2021 to feel something physical and not just emotional pain.
Then there came another instance where I was informed that one of my high school batch-mates passed on. Some people were messaging me out of the blue just because. I felt suffocated because I was still grieving, but because of a different reason. Those people never bothered to ask me how I was doing. Note that, these people never messaged me for more than three years. Yet here they are, messaging me on different social platforms.
Why wasn’t I allowed to grieve at my pace?
Should people always announce that they are going through a rough time?
Did they ever bother to ask how I was doing before they bombarded my inbox?
These questions roamed freely in my mind for a long time. I even thought that I was bad for not being able to feel anything, as I was on anti-depressants that time that made me numb to any emotions at all.
I remember opening up to one of the closest friends of that high school batch-mate who passed. She understood my case and told me to grieve at my pace. She knew that I had to help myself first before I can do anything to help others, or even to attend to their questions or requests.
When she shared with me that, I felt relieved. I knew that what I felt was valid. Nevertheless, I offered prayers for the soul of our high school batch-mate, that may they find eternal peace and rest.
Grieving is a very delicate and intricate matter. People grieve differently, and should not be forced to just because you think they need to. Some watch various series or movies to cope, while others try new hobbies that interest them.
Some cut their hair to symbolize rebirth or even a new era that’s coming. I cut my hair several times during the previous years. But the main reason was, I have thick hair, and it’s really hot and heavy whenever I wash it. The secondary reason was I wanted something new for the new chapter that I’m about to enter.
So, let’s take it upon ourselves to be empathetic towards people. We may now know what they’re struggling about or what’s going through their minds all the time.
Sporadically, it’s also nice to check in with your friends. You can send a meme that may cheer their day up, and that’s always appreciated! Right?
Blog updates 💻
This month I was able to write and schedule three blogs. I never expected that progress with myself because I tell myself that one blog is enough. Though, there are times that when you feel the inspiration to write, you go with it. When you stop that flow, it’s hard to re-capture the moment.
Here are the earlier blog posts this March:
This is the newest blog post this month:
Life Lately 🏖️
I’ve been learning a lot lately, and I feel productive. Though, there are days that I feel that I’m not productive because I have downtime. I remembered my old colleague telling me that downtimes are also productive times. Rest keeps us sane, and that’s good.
We also went out last Thursday to have Dakila vaccinated. He got his anti-rabies shot, and his 8-in-1 shot. I requested the vet to use his pet passport to store all the proof of his vaccinations moving forward. After his shot, we went straight home, since it’s still too early for my shift. Dakila and I both took our naps, which was so recharging!
I’m currently…
Reading: Madly, Deeply: The Diaries of Alan Rickman
Studying: Foundations of Project Management (through Coursera)
Watching: Call Me Kat, Young Sheldon, Grey’s Anatomy, The Book of Boba Fett, Cold Case, Dark Asia with Megan
Listening: Wake Up With Jim and Saab, PH Murder Stories, Stories After Dark
On another note, I’m excited about going home this April 2, and staying there for two weeks. Even though there are still fearful thoughts about traveling, I’m slowly becoming more courageous about going home. Not only I miss my family there, but I also miss seeing Mayon!
How’s the book going?
The book is now in the hands of my creative partner. He’s putting all the pieces of the puzzle together. It’ll go live on April 23, 2023, and I hope you pre-order soon!
It’s compatible with Kindle, and we’ll have paperbacks and hardbound copies too.
That’s a wrap?
With all the things happening, I’m eternally grateful for all the things. There are times that you may not feel things are not going your way, it’s means that the universe and G are preparing better things for you. That is the way.
Currently, it’s 10:29 AM here in the Philippines, and I must sleep. I hope you get some rest too!
Tipping or buying me a coffee helps me earn for my meds, and donate to the non-profit organizations that I advocate for like PAWS, and Pawssion Project.
Love and light,
Maria 🧿✨